Addiction

I get drunk now and then. As I am at this moment.

Why? To myself, the reason is to relax. When drunk, and alone I might add, I can abstract from the rest of the world.

When not, a pervasive bitterness flows through me at times of stress. Be this a sign of my sickness or of the world being sick, is merely a matter of the individual point of view.

The matter of my addiction is not up for debate however. Whenever I have been drinking, I crave another drink, unless I am overwhelmed by nausea.

When I do drink alone, introspection is my constant fellow.

Now, when I get sleepy, I will go to sleep. But, at the moment, I do not feel like that at all. Breaking whatever boundaries, breaching all barriers... this is what I crave to do. The only problem with this is that the only limits exacted are those I put upon myself, in whatever way. Blast. I feel like loading up some music on my mobile phone, putting on some warm clothes, and walking off into the night, to just think.

But then what? What of the day after, and the people it will affect?
Thus, existence takes its toll.