There ain't no Heroes here.

If you are familiar with Metallica, think of the difference in sophistication between these two songs; Holier than though vs. Better than you. Better than you was not intended to be as subtle a message as Holier Than Thou. Or so I would interpret. And that is the point at which I find myself. I am not better than anyone else, but if I should find them lacking... no fun for them.

I feel like I have been the butt of pretty much everyone else's jokes, needs, and whatnot for a bloody long time, and now, at the point where I am actually trying to establish a family life of my own, everyone is on my back, because I'm not doing a good enough job of it.

Hit dirt, shake tree
Split sky, part sea
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Live win, dare fail
Eat the dirt and bite the nail

Then make me miss you
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby

Draw lead, piss wine
Sink teeth, all mine
Stoke fire, break neck
Suffer through this, cheat on death
Hug the curve, noose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign

Then make me miss you
Come on yeah
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby

Yeah suck it!!!

Live win, dare fail
Eat dirt, bite the nail
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Hug the curve, noose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign

Then make me miss you
Come on, come on
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day

Come make me miss you

Come carpe diem baby

To melancholic or melodramatic for you? Go eat a donut then.

Devil's Dance

I am at the moment listening to the very first Heavy album I bought, Metallica's Reload. What memories.

I was... 15-16 or so. I knew everything I ever needed to know about anything. I was the smartest, damn well most intelligent being on planet earth.

I had never had sex, never had to make life-altering decisions, (as such, apart from having to choose between my mom and dad during their divorce, and the ensuing brainwash) I spent most of the waking day, and most of the night, in my room, alone, playing on my brand new computer, or reading. (I must have been 16 then, as I got 10.000 kroner from my dad, which I subsequently spent on a crap PC on that particular birthday, in an attempt to buy me off. Or so it seems at least, as neither my brother nor sister got anything.)

You label me, I label you.

Well, this self-diagnosis seems to be working, I feel a bit better. Could be the half-pint of rum in my bloodstream as well of course.



My labeling of Cecilie's siblings, as egocentric bastards basically, could undisputedly be applied to myself from many people's point of view.



At my brothers 20 year birthday party, on the 31st august this year, His friends were... well, not very good friends.

And they got to hear it from me. I went into a weird, half-drunken state of army-sergeant-dom. I actually screamed into the face of on of them, standing all of 5 centimeters from him. Not at all like me. He deserved it, fear not. It was just a new, hitherto undiscovered side of myself. A highly inebriated boy tried to make moves on my wife, sister, and grabbed my sister's friend's bum. When he came for a drink while I was bartending instead of my brothers "friends", that were supposed to be doing the selfsame thing, I told to bloody well relax, and when he in his drunken state gave me a bit of lip... I pulled him towards me, by the throat. What the hell!? I'm not a violent person, or so I have believed up to now. The boy was being a moron, then again, he was very drunk.



Again, TO BE CONTINUED!



PS: remember to read this in reverse order... might be a bit disorienting otherwise.

Of Wolf and Man.

I haven't talked to my mum for about four months now. We've just started reestablishing contact. She said some pretty nasty things while she was mad, and I was just not in a mindframe were I could let it pass. I have been extremely unforgiving to my family as of late.

All the negative feelings I have harbored over the years about the dysfunctionality on all sides of my family culminated in my wedding, on august 13, last year. It was, to put it shortly, hell. 'Nuff said.

My wifes side of the family, luckily only consisting of her mother and siblings, as she is estranged from her father, haven't exactly helped things along either. I had some issues with her mother, (Well duh, she's my mother-in-law) which have mostly been resolved though.

But her siblings... dear Gods. If you have been reading my recent updates, you should have an idea about the elder sister. And I was being VERY diplomatical.

At the beginning of our relationship, the courting stage if you will, I was a huge jackass. No more, no less. As I came to love Cecilie and Andreas, I slowly changed my ways. Cecilie's mother lives in close proximity to us, and thusly had a better vantage point than the infamous siblings, to watch my transformation. (Very egocentric way of writing, isn't it though.)

None the less, they have both been extremely unforthcoming. I myself am the biggest brother of three, and with that comes a responsibility, and a mindset. Although both my siblings are exceedingly competent, I nevertheless feel an obligation to watch over them, and guide them, if they would ever let me :)

Cecilie's big brother is a complete failure as regards to this. Her sister is fairly awful at it too. They both have very rigid world views, and suffer none but their own.

I have to admit, their animosity has had its effect on me. Although I would like to pretend I can just shrug it off, it has made me build a quite effective armour around myself and my family. No one is going to hurt my family, in any way, ever. That is to be taken quite literally. Thus, when my wife and I had a differing opinion from that of my mum, and she was rather foul about it, I didn't talk to her for four months.

My father... whoo, my dad. Yeah. Not to go into detail, but there was a bit of an incident when we last visited with my father and his wife. It was an accident, granted. But my father's behaviour afterwards was just so... tame. And seeing as he has been just that way since the first day of my turning into a teenager, and having a mind of my own, I just wouldn't accept his acquiescence. He could have, taking into consideration the situation at the time, have been a good father, or grandfather for that matter, and offered us a ride home, instead of promptly starting to talk about home economics with his wife. The bastard. No, I still am not over that particular episode.



TO BE CONTINUED ;)

Excuse my molecules

Well, I can't really just keep posting links and pretty pichooores, now can I?



Not feeling at my best. Cecilie is off at work, her boss asked her to take a few extra hours today, Andreas is with her, and by the sound of it, having a lot of fun.

I was supposed to help Rolf with his moving today, called him earlier, and there were ten people or so already there helping him, so I didn't see much point. Made me feel a bit superfluous really. Although, it really shouldn't have.



I have two assignments to finish, due the eighth and the tenth of january. I'm feeling stressed about them, mainly due to the fact that I haven't started on either.



My bad mood is a bit of a mystery to me. Cecilie's big sister had a fit the other day, as she apparently thinks the universe revolves around her and... well, basically, she compares me to her and Cecilie's father, classical Freud. Need I say she's in denial about how she feels about him? Cecilie got very upset from the encounter of course, so did I, but not to a point where I would still be feeling down about it at this point.



But I am feeling a bit down, nonetheless. Peculiar.



The days just pass me by, and it feels like I get nothing done. Play a bit of World of Warcraft, (Okay. More than just a bit), do some cleaning up, play with the kids... and the days gone. Completely unproductive. Pfff.

A site you should very definetely take a closer look at, if you are into that whole satanic worship... erh, I mean puzzles:



http://www.eyezmaze.com/

Comix!

Ooooh, I just love this new feature! Here are a selection of Webcomics I read regularly:

See? It does, it really does! :D

This should increase the frequency of bloggage tremendously.

High time I started blogging again!

Lots of stuff has happened since last time I wrote. I realize this might come as a shock :P



Found this nifty new tool for Forefox 2, called Performancing, which I am, you guessed it, fiddling around with right now. In principle, it should let you drag-and-drop stuff directly from the browser into the blog. Let's see if it works.







Looks like it does. Neat! The above gaming site's old domain has been hijacked by the monstrous folks over at www.sedo.com. It hasn't been updated for quite a while now, check out the forums for news. Despite the recent drearth in updates, it is still one of the most comprehensive sites when it comes to oldschool games, the layout is nifty, and the browsing functions superb. Go forth and have a butchers at it.