There ain't no Heroes here.

If you are familiar with Metallica, think of the difference in sophistication between these two songs; Holier than though vs. Better than you. Better than you was not intended to be as subtle a message as Holier Than Thou. Or so I would interpret. And that is the point at which I find myself. I am not better than anyone else, but if I should find them lacking... no fun for them.

I feel like I have been the butt of pretty much everyone else's jokes, needs, and whatnot for a bloody long time, and now, at the point where I am actually trying to establish a family life of my own, everyone is on my back, because I'm not doing a good enough job of it.

Hit dirt, shake tree
Split sky, part sea
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Live win, dare fail
Eat the dirt and bite the nail

Then make me miss you
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby

Draw lead, piss wine
Sink teeth, all mine
Stoke fire, break neck
Suffer through this, cheat on death
Hug the curve, noose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign

Then make me miss you
Come on yeah
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day
Come carpe diem baby

Yeah suck it!!!

Live win, dare fail
Eat dirt, bite the nail
Strip smile, lose cool
Bleed the day and break the rule
Hug the curve, noose the time
Tear the map and shoot the sign

Then make me miss you
Come on, come on
Then make me miss you

So wash your face away with dirt
It don't feel good until it hurts
So take this world and shake it
Come squeeze and suck the day

Come make me miss you

Come carpe diem baby

To melancholic or melodramatic for you? Go eat a donut then.

Devil's Dance

I am at the moment listening to the very first Heavy album I bought, Metallica's Reload. What memories.

I was... 15-16 or so. I knew everything I ever needed to know about anything. I was the smartest, damn well most intelligent being on planet earth.

I had never had sex, never had to make life-altering decisions, (as such, apart from having to choose between my mom and dad during their divorce, and the ensuing brainwash) I spent most of the waking day, and most of the night, in my room, alone, playing on my brand new computer, or reading. (I must have been 16 then, as I got 10.000 kroner from my dad, which I subsequently spent on a crap PC on that particular birthday, in an attempt to buy me off. Or so it seems at least, as neither my brother nor sister got anything.)

You label me, I label you.

Well, this self-diagnosis seems to be working, I feel a bit better. Could be the half-pint of rum in my bloodstream as well of course.



My labeling of Cecilie's siblings, as egocentric bastards basically, could undisputedly be applied to myself from many people's point of view.



At my brothers 20 year birthday party, on the 31st august this year, His friends were... well, not very good friends.

And they got to hear it from me. I went into a weird, half-drunken state of army-sergeant-dom. I actually screamed into the face of on of them, standing all of 5 centimeters from him. Not at all like me. He deserved it, fear not. It was just a new, hitherto undiscovered side of myself. A highly inebriated boy tried to make moves on my wife, sister, and grabbed my sister's friend's bum. When he came for a drink while I was bartending instead of my brothers "friends", that were supposed to be doing the selfsame thing, I told to bloody well relax, and when he in his drunken state gave me a bit of lip... I pulled him towards me, by the throat. What the hell!? I'm not a violent person, or so I have believed up to now. The boy was being a moron, then again, he was very drunk.



Again, TO BE CONTINUED!



PS: remember to read this in reverse order... might be a bit disorienting otherwise.

Of Wolf and Man.

I haven't talked to my mum for about four months now. We've just started reestablishing contact. She said some pretty nasty things while she was mad, and I was just not in a mindframe were I could let it pass. I have been extremely unforgiving to my family as of late.

All the negative feelings I have harbored over the years about the dysfunctionality on all sides of my family culminated in my wedding, on august 13, last year. It was, to put it shortly, hell. 'Nuff said.

My wifes side of the family, luckily only consisting of her mother and siblings, as she is estranged from her father, haven't exactly helped things along either. I had some issues with her mother, (Well duh, she's my mother-in-law) which have mostly been resolved though.

But her siblings... dear Gods. If you have been reading my recent updates, you should have an idea about the elder sister. And I was being VERY diplomatical.

At the beginning of our relationship, the courting stage if you will, I was a huge jackass. No more, no less. As I came to love Cecilie and Andreas, I slowly changed my ways. Cecilie's mother lives in close proximity to us, and thusly had a better vantage point than the infamous siblings, to watch my transformation. (Very egocentric way of writing, isn't it though.)

None the less, they have both been extremely unforthcoming. I myself am the biggest brother of three, and with that comes a responsibility, and a mindset. Although both my siblings are exceedingly competent, I nevertheless feel an obligation to watch over them, and guide them, if they would ever let me :)

Cecilie's big brother is a complete failure as regards to this. Her sister is fairly awful at it too. They both have very rigid world views, and suffer none but their own.

I have to admit, their animosity has had its effect on me. Although I would like to pretend I can just shrug it off, it has made me build a quite effective armour around myself and my family. No one is going to hurt my family, in any way, ever. That is to be taken quite literally. Thus, when my wife and I had a differing opinion from that of my mum, and she was rather foul about it, I didn't talk to her for four months.

My father... whoo, my dad. Yeah. Not to go into detail, but there was a bit of an incident when we last visited with my father and his wife. It was an accident, granted. But my father's behaviour afterwards was just so... tame. And seeing as he has been just that way since the first day of my turning into a teenager, and having a mind of my own, I just wouldn't accept his acquiescence. He could have, taking into consideration the situation at the time, have been a good father, or grandfather for that matter, and offered us a ride home, instead of promptly starting to talk about home economics with his wife. The bastard. No, I still am not over that particular episode.



TO BE CONTINUED ;)

Excuse my molecules

Well, I can't really just keep posting links and pretty pichooores, now can I?



Not feeling at my best. Cecilie is off at work, her boss asked her to take a few extra hours today, Andreas is with her, and by the sound of it, having a lot of fun.

I was supposed to help Rolf with his moving today, called him earlier, and there were ten people or so already there helping him, so I didn't see much point. Made me feel a bit superfluous really. Although, it really shouldn't have.



I have two assignments to finish, due the eighth and the tenth of january. I'm feeling stressed about them, mainly due to the fact that I haven't started on either.



My bad mood is a bit of a mystery to me. Cecilie's big sister had a fit the other day, as she apparently thinks the universe revolves around her and... well, basically, she compares me to her and Cecilie's father, classical Freud. Need I say she's in denial about how she feels about him? Cecilie got very upset from the encounter of course, so did I, but not to a point where I would still be feeling down about it at this point.



But I am feeling a bit down, nonetheless. Peculiar.



The days just pass me by, and it feels like I get nothing done. Play a bit of World of Warcraft, (Okay. More than just a bit), do some cleaning up, play with the kids... and the days gone. Completely unproductive. Pfff.

A site you should very definetely take a closer look at, if you are into that whole satanic worship... erh, I mean puzzles:



http://www.eyezmaze.com/

Comix!

Ooooh, I just love this new feature! Here are a selection of Webcomics I read regularly:

See? It does, it really does! :D

This should increase the frequency of bloggage tremendously.

High time I started blogging again!

Lots of stuff has happened since last time I wrote. I realize this might come as a shock :P



Found this nifty new tool for Forefox 2, called Performancing, which I am, you guessed it, fiddling around with right now. In principle, it should let you drag-and-drop stuff directly from the browser into the blog. Let's see if it works.







Looks like it does. Neat! The above gaming site's old domain has been hijacked by the monstrous folks over at www.sedo.com. It hasn't been updated for quite a while now, check out the forums for news. Despite the recent drearth in updates, it is still one of the most comprehensive sites when it comes to oldschool games, the layout is nifty, and the browsing functions superb. Go forth and have a butchers at it.

Ah yes...

It's that time of night again. Andreas is sick, Clara isn't feeling too well either it seems. Cecilie worked till 19.30 today, she works in Rødovre, the drive is about 40 mins... a lot of sick kids to atend to, by me onesies, basically. it all went great to be honest, but still... quite taxing. Anyway, I've started my studies at KUA again, and... everything is good. Honestly.
On the "Rus-tur" (get-drunk-and-get-to-know-each-other-tour) I actually made quite good friends, intelligent, likeable and very fun people... guess I wasn't as antisocial as I'd feared. I was actually head-hunted (as it were) for a study-group, and people are interested in hearing my opinions on things... How very unaccustomed.
I became a little crazed while staying at home with Cecilie and Clara. "Little" being the understatement of the year. "barselskuller" we call it in Denmark. Basically, I got paranoid, and started alienating friends and family. Smart move. Aaaaanywho, I'm slowly regaining social skills, (and even learning new ones I'd never dreamed of) and am actually having fun with my studies! W00t!
Much more to write, and as the evening progresses, it will get written (says I).

On a sidenote, my laptop is functioning quite flawlessly on the wireless network at KUA, so if you're lucky, (and persistent) updates galore!

The new freshness

I feel decidedly weird. And not, as it turns out, very much like writing. Soooo.... I won't. :P

Sizzle...

I can't even form proper sentences. The linguistic strings written by me hereafter are not to be judged on grammatical terms.

It's been quite a while since I've written. Obviously. Luckily I have purchased, with permission from my lovely wife, a rather nice notebook computer, that will henceforth be the cause of much sniping, as soon as I resume university life.

I love and adore life. I would have never thought that family could be so infinitely rewarding. I love my beautiful children, I lust for, and love my provocative, nay, intoxicating wife...
I realize that I seem to reiterate this point every single time I write, the self-evident conclusion is that this is something that has great and profound meaning to me. I still can't believe it.

No recent pictures forthcoming, the reason being, my camera is being "repaired". The hyphens are meant to illustrate the point that my camera is actually being "looked at" repeatedly, then being "sent back to the idiot customer", who "prolly won't notice" that nothing has been fixed.
Luckily I haven't been posting for a while, so I should be able to find a pic or two that hasn't been published yet :D The pic you see to the upper right was taken by Andreas, using his new (shitty) camera from Fætter BR, a danish toystore. He lurvs his lil' sis.
The one on the upper left is Andreas on the phone with his mormor, a very frequent occurence :)

Oooooooh boy.

I'm on a diet. Sweet bitter irony. It IS working though, I've lost about 3 kilograms since saturday, and am feeling much more energetic. What wonderful product brought about this miraculous change you ask? Constant, enervating hunger. Kidding. I'm on a shake-diet. That is to say, I mix powder with water, SHAKE, and gag. It's hideous.

On a lighter note, twelve days from now we are embarking on an epic journey... visiting the family in Germany. The apartment is almost finished, the last pieces of furniture are being assembled, the last pile of garbage being flambéd. Crivens.
"Boring" family life is... endlessly appealing. Who would have thought?
Here's a gratuitous baby picture!

So, it has come to this at last.

I find solace in quotations. You see, although I love the search for knowledge, the mystery of new discoveries, and the improvement of ones mind, I am, alas, not the most diligent student there ever was. I lack ambition and drive. Those terms are, to me, crass and vulgar, though they should not be, as they are what propel the motors of science and industry. To my unrefined mind they lack certain... playfulness. The quest for knowledge of oneself, the universe and everything should, above all, be FUN.
This train of thought led me to despair. Was I less intelligent, because I lacked the will to enforce my views and disputations on others? Joy of joys, good old Albert Einstein came thundering to the rescue, with easy to remember quotes, for young and old to enjoy!

"Knowledge is what remains, after one has forgotten what he has learned at school."

-Albert Einstein

See? Not a word-for-word quotation I'll grant you, but close enough and it delivers the joyful message for all to revel in.

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor

I am Twenty Four years of age, as of yesterday. This makes today monday the 13th, for another two minutes at least. I have quite recently imbibed an entire bottle of white wine by myself. Which, under normal circumstances, would by no means be extraordinary, should you but look two years into my past. But these days alcohol is no longer a frequently committed transgression of mine, in fact it has been... well, obviously not years since I have been drunk, but months does not quite suffice, narratively speaking. Although it is, if you take your fourth dimension seriously, absolutely correct... It lacks that certain something. Ages, although a grossly misused term in this day and age, must suffice. Ah, what would we do, were it not for the Americans and their abominable use of slang? This I ask of you.
I am, to put it in other words, slightly drunk. Inebriated, if you will. The entire family has been bedridden for the better part of a week now, and, quite frankly, I asked the permission of my wife to get drunk. It sounds so much crasser in writing than it did when transmitted by tongue and larynx to soundwaves... oh well, nothing perfidious about it, I assure you. As I have just spent a bit over and hour and a half singing my youngest child to sleep, I do not feel remiss in my parental, nor my spousal duties. The entire household sleeps soundly. I was the first to be infected by the malignant virus carried by our oldest from his Kindergarten to our unsuspecting home, and Cecilie nursed me for two days, until she herself contracted said most infectious disease.
Prelude from suite for Lute in G minor.
Now it is her time to sleep, and regain a measure of health. Alas, I am not fully restituted as of yet, my sickly disposition no doubt being the product of unhealthy living and lack of sleep.

The point of this particular textular escapade eludes me, it will not emerge, and so I abandon you, dear reader, to the static oblivion of the interminable internet once again. Join me next time for further regressions into my teenage years, or quite possibly to learn of my newest plan for world domination. Allegro.

Mettere radici

Or so it seems. I am, at the moment, feeling a tad antisocial. It has been literally months since I've seen any of my friends, been out, or done anything besides "family-stuff". Imagine my surprise when I found out I am quite content being a dad/husband. Mostly, anyway.
Once, every now and then, one does tend to miss a bit of brigandry, at least the type involving intoxicating liquids and bad singing, albeit the smoke usually associated with the aforementioned revelry is something I do happily without. Nevertheless, friends are an important part of a mans life, so it seems I should go about finding some again. Sigh.

A pink Alphonse Mucha day

The printer is malfunctioning... I didn't know electronics could do that, aren't they filled with microchips these days? Oh well.
Should you not be aware who Alphonse Mucha was... enter yourself into the Darwin Awards. Or check out what you've missed.

Mmmmm... Grandma.

Hey there, Uncle Man.

Floating in space

Do I know you from somewhere?

Andreas' 4th birthday. The kids were not as bored as they look on the picture, they're just masticating y'know ;)

Andreas lurvs his new hair cut.

The Amazing Bulding Blocks Kid! All the extensions are completely identical. Wow. When I was his age I was building... well basically walls.

My babies.

Turtle power! Aahhhhh, what gifts i have recieved. No, we do NOT drink Cola LIGHT, some of our guests did. Really. Stop looking at me like that! Oooooh, the eyes, the eyes.... they're all looking at me... with their EYES!

6. januar

Bananas! Andreas took this picture in the supermarket, he's well on his way to becoming a peel papparazzi, a fruit fandango, a... sorry, I feel a bit lightheaded. :P

What now?

Chrusherbot 3000

Andreas im Schnee

Das erste Bild von Clara

Weihnachtsbaum oh Weihnachtsbaum

Gleich nach der Geburt

Peeling potatoes... yeah baby, yeah!

Ich mit Clara abends am 5.

Welch tolle Haarpracht

For the family :)

mmmmmmmm.....m......m.....mmmmmmmm

Bliss.
It's half past two at night.
Everyone else is sleeping.
Snow is falling outside.
My existence is justified, just by sitting here...

I'm bloody tired obviously, i need to sleep... Clara is starting to show some of her mothers temper,
Gods help me :) And yet... I feel content. Peaceful. Serene.

I'm trying to find out if it is at all possible to return to university after 6 months of leave, or if I have to start over... because that is indeed what I am planning to do. Haven't finished two exams, haven't even talked to any tutors about it... Can't be bothered... Wild huh? It just doesn't seem all that important.

So what do I get up to, in the wee hours of the night you ask?
The image on the left is our new family monogram, seeing as we've all got the same surname now... We felt it was quite important, mostly for the sake of Andreas, he is going to be told at some point (in the distant future) that I'm not his biological father... And there is to be no confusion who his real father is, namely me :)